How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
