you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
