the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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