so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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