:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
from now on my penis is your penis
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
