how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
