oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
