I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
