I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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