just come out here and I will go home with you...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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