Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
