Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
vagina is talking i cant
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
