Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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