He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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