Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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