just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
