ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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