i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
