You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
What drink are we having for lunch?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
