I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
