remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
