my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
