You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
