So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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