No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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