two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
