Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
