He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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