As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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