Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
