update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
3 2 1 whiskey
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
