Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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