This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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