its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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