What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
