That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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