it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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