she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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