y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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