Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
