guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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