i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
