I cockslap morals
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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