in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
