Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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