I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
