We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
