He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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