doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
