2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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