They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
