i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
