they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
