i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
