I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
