Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
