Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
