im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
