I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i don't like sucking hair
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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